I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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