Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My ass is underappreciated
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
