I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
