yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
