He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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