Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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