I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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