I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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