You made me cry and you don't even care
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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