dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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