Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
