I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize