Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
