I got chris browned last night
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
