I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
