lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
