he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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