Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
