I got chris browned last night
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
