Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
