ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
