Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
