She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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