I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
