last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
