She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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