He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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