Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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