Cold hands, warm shart.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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