Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
