normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
