Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
