Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
