...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
