Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize