Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize