I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
