he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
be right there i have to get my cape
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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