Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
