Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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