it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
