Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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