You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize