well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
