brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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