I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
