Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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