go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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