is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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