two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
