Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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