Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
