i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
