ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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