New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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