I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize