I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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