...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
