I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
