i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
where are you?
Hypothermia
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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