Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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