Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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